Ninja Scroll
Type: Movie
Studio: Madhouse
Aired: June 5, 1993
"Back in the day" the anime we were getting localized and dubbed was largely comprised of movies. You had stuff like Akira and Ghost in the Shell, which are both excellent and adored by critics. There was also "motherfucking" Ninja Scroll, the lowbrow boobs & blood film. Which is also excellent.
The plot is complete insane, and honestly somewhat confusing if you decide to focus on the particulars. There's political intrigue, warring factions in Japan, international alliances (this gory anime movie actually has dialogue about mining gold to buy weapons from Spain), battles, magic, demons, sex, romance(?), plus some utterly capricious elements like reincarnation, "ticking time bomb" poisons and subsequent immunity, telepathy(?), exploding rats, and yeah I won't spoil anything else. What's most important are the characters. Protagonist Jubei is a cool ninja mercenary, strolling around Nippon beating the shit out of people and taking odd jobs for (little) money. A fortuitous sequence of events has Jubei joining forces with the kunoichi Kagero and a crotchety blackmailing old spy called Dakuan. They're soon pitted against the "Eight Devils of Kimon" -- a group that includes the archvillain Gemma (who had, oddly, previously been beheaded by Jubei). The heroes are very well-written; they're sympathetic despite being weird as hell and possessing dubious motives. This dub (which is how every American had to experience this initially) is also superb.
A huge chunk of the film's runtime is dedicated to battles and they're cool as hell. They're over-the-top but somehow also grounded -- a modern anime would stretch these fight scenes to twenty minutes each and include nuclear weapons and lasers and exposition. The Ninja Scroll fights each showcase one of the Devils, to be ultimately bested in a battle of wits -- a guy who spawns bees from his back (just nod) is killed once he's submerged in water and the bees frantically explode outward, a blind master swordsman is beaten only once he becomes confused by a sword the heroes stick in a tree. The pacing is mostly good. There are some extraneous scenes, and Ninja Scroll ultimately feels exhausting despite being "only" 94 minutes. There's a formula of alternating battles and "chill" moments -- some of the latter are downright creepy, like the zombie Buddhist woman. The rape stuff is pretty weird, but not as extreme as some people (beta cucks) would tell you, and it's all frontloaded.
The music in the film is relatively subtle, but fits the feudal Japan vibe nicely. Yutaka Minowa (Record of Lodoss War) handled character designs and everyone looks fantastic. It's a distinct style. The man are massive gigachad dudes with giant muscles and heads and max levels of testosterone. The woman are... also massive and strong, with long faces and big floppy boobs (based). Some of these backgrounds are absolutely incredible. See the blood-red shack at sunset, the snowstorm flashback, the deteriorating ship of doom. Incredible.
A seriously fun ride and honestly a vibes-based film above all else. Kind of stupid in parts, but hugely manly and unapologetic in a way you don't see in media much these days.
Rating: 4/5
Reviewed: 02/21/26